People often ask me how you can remember such details from your past.
It is as if the heart stops for a moment while the brain absorbs the shock of the hearts piercing. That memory has nowhere to go. It wanders around in your mind and flashes like a lightning bolt with the blow of thunder that strikes right before the memory comes flooding back, and the tears rain from your eyes.
You don’t forget the things that pierce your heart.
But as a child, we can often distort what was really going on. We only remember the worst of what happened to us. In my therapy sessions, my therapist would have me go back to an event in my life as the adult I am today. I’d sit beside my younger self and observe the situation from an adult point of view. I could see that what was going on didn’t have anything to do with me. There was a lifetime of problems that surround my parents that created the things that happened. I could then take the hand of my inner child and show her that it wasn’t her fault. That it’s alright now, we survived it, and it’s not worth holding onto anymore. It didn’t take away from the fact that I was indeed a victim of my parent’s circumstances, and it didn’t justify their actions, but it helped me to know it wasn’t my fault, and I could let it go now if I wanted to.